May God be with you.
I was brought up Catholic. I went to Catholic school for Kindergarten and 1st Grade. As I grew I played the organ for Mass, taught Sunday School, led Guitar Masses, and really really wanted to learn the why's and where fores of my faith.
There was no one to teach me.
Long story short, I left the church in College and only came back 19 years later because of my husband. We married, and while I still did not embrace confession, the beauty of the liturgy filled me. However, it was not until I had my first daughter at 40 and asked Jesus an important question that I really began to know my faith.I still did not know much about what Catholicism meant. I still had not found anyone to teach me.
One night while nursing my daughter I asked Jesus, "I want to know the Truth. What ever you show me I will just believe."
That Lent we had a mission/retreat. Confession was part of it. I really wanted confession and to have it mean something. This was the main sacrament which held me back from embracing the Faith. The priest explained about the effects of sin - how it is like the shadow of a tree under a cloudy sky = you really can't see it very well, but through confession, the sun comes out and NOW you can really see the shadow and stay away from it. I wanted that with my whole being. I wanted forgiveness. I prayed for a good confession.
From the moment I entered the Church for the Confession service I started crying, deep deep crying. Everything was coming out of me. When I went up to the Priest for my confession his love and forgiveness was overwhelming. I was forgiven and LOVED! My tears became tears of joy and repentance and relief!
It seems overnight, I went from a Fiction ONLY reader to an Apologetics ONLY reader! I would have questions, and miraculously, I'd hear something on Relevant Radio or hear it preached on Sunday or find it on the Web. I couldn't learn enough fast enough about the Church.
Everything I wonder about, it is as if the Holy Spirit Himself is my teacher and guide. In fact, He is!
For example, I wondered how a Priest can just be married to the Church and suddenly I was hit with such a feeling of love and total ADORATION! I know! I really know the love and worship a Priest has for Christ's Bride.
I wondered about how Christ is made PRESENT in the Eucharist during Mass and I found the radio station I was listening to was actually talking about this very thing. At the same time in my mind's eye, I saw our Priest during the Consecration and there ! There is Jesus right behind him and then a WHITE dove flew in front of my windshield - and this is in the middle of November in Minnesota!
I began to go to weekly Adoration. So much more has happened because of that!
I know the Truth and I ask for more and Jesus gives me more! I wondered after awhile where all of this knowledge was going. I felt there was something I was supposed to do - more than teaching my children.
9 years later, I now see, He had other plans for me. I now teach 2nd Grade Faith Formation. I am so blessed to be able to bring these children through the Sacraments.
I attended a retreat with Father Antione Thomas (Children of Hope) and learned about children's Adoration. Now, each class we end with Adoration. What I cannot teach, He will reach them and teach them. Even the most talkative children are quiet and respectful.
God gave me an openness to Him which I will always be thankful for. When we submit to Him there is nothing He won't give.
I thank God for the vocation of Wife, Mother and Teacher.
God is GOOD!
God bless you